15 people share the worst advice they got when they were young

15 people share the worst advice they got when they were young15 people share the worst advice they got when they were youngThese are the best years of your lifeThis welches the advice countless adults gave me about my high school and college years.Is it really true?, I remember thinking, dejected. How welches it possible that my best years would be over before I ventured out into the world as a fully formed adult?Turns out, those adults were totally, tragically wrong. Life gets better when youre able to create the one you want for yourself. The larger point being, sometimes the pearls of wisdom people dispense to us when were young and impressionable are misdirected, misinformed, or just plain badeanstalt no matter how well-meaning the advisor. And sometimes that bad advice ends up being the most eye-opening of our lives.Weve all received advice as young people that turned out to be hogwash advice aboutcareersuccess,workethic, romantic or interpersonalrelationships, or life in gen eral. So we asked Thrivescontributorcommunity to share some words of wisdom that just didnt hold up, and what they wish theyd been told instead.Follow your passion.This advice once sounded great, but it assumes that I had some predisposed passion that I was born with. I didnt. So instead, I spent years searching for my passion, wasting valuable time and money. I didnt find it, and it left me with heartache. It wasnt until I realized that passion isnt something youre born with, its something you develop, when things changed. I wish I had instead been given the advice to, develop your passion. That would have been a life changer.- James Huntington, marketing manager, Seattle, WAYour college major doesnt matter.I was told by numerous adults throughout my college years that it didnt matter what I studied. I think their intention was to assuage the anxiety I felt about my lifes direction and how my career might unfold. The intended message was that I would be OK regardless of my major, but the way it was said made me feel helpless and like I was wasting time. In result, I wasted time floundering and not making intentional decisions. If I could go back, I would tell myself to think about jobs that interest me and the skills they require, and then work backwards from there.- Christine Ahlstrom, academic adviser, Seattle, WAWhen in conflict, just walk away.Ive learned the hard way that walking away from an argument in a relationship is the worst thing to do because it makes your partner feel unappreciated and not heard. Its so hard, and I am not perfect at it, but staying in the argument is more beneficial (and results in resolution) than just avoiding and walking away.- Fara Rosenzweig, content professional, San Francisco, CADont move out. Stay home and save up money.My aunt gave me this advice when I had just graduated high school and lived my whole life up to that point in a one-stoplight farm town. I needed culture, city lights, room to make mistakes I didnt fo llow her advice. Im glad I didnt. If I could speak to my younger self now, Id say, Move out. Youre amazing and youll do great things.- Megan, corporate recruiter, Baltimore, MDDont be anfhrery.As a young girl who liked to lead my pack of friends, I took this as If you agree, people will like you. I have spent most of my young adulthood seeking the approval of others rather than being the leader I am. It was just recently that I had an epiphany that being bossy isnt a bad thing- Taylor Bento, MBA, Knoxville, TNYoull be happy once youre successful.I was told to go to university, get a job, work hard and become successful - and once you are successful, then youll be happy. So, I studied a career I didnt like, to end up in a job I hated. I worked hard and became successful, but I wasnt happy. Today, 25 years later, science proves that happiness is not the result of success but leads to success in nearly every area of our lives especially at work and in business. If I could go back in time Id tell my younger self Trust your intuition. Everything is going to be ok Marc Reklau, consulting, Barcelona, SpainYou pick a person, you pick a set of problems.My mom told me this relationship advice, and for years, it seemed to make sense to me. It wasnt until my early forties that I realized the advice had caused me to constantly be on alert for the negative in my relationships That set of problems that I was willing to live with for the rest of my life. It made me afraid to commit to another person, because who wants to be committing to a set of problems? Letting go of that idea allowed me to be open to finding true love. If I could go back, I would tell my younger self that life is an adventure. Find a person who makes you happy and enjoy the ride- Rebecca K., freelance writer editor, Westlake, OHDont attract too much attention.As an Asian-American female, my family always told me this. It was better to blend in and be humble. Im grateful that as I got older and more co nfident in myself and my abilities, I stopped listening to them. Speaking up for what I believe in and celebrating what makes me unique is one of the best things that I have done. Being different, vocal and authentic is what has created genuine connection with my audience and brings continued success. Dont ever dim your light because others are afraid of how bright you shine.- Marian Bacol-Uba, spirituality, holistic health and wellness, Miami, FLFake it until you make it.The first time I got promoted into a leadership role, I wasnt sure I could do the job. Many leaders told me this advice. Whereas I understood what they were trying to say, I chose a different path full transparency. After working with employees at all levels throughout my career, I have found that people have really good B.S. detectors. Lack of knowledge and experience can be forgiven and even embraced as signs of a humble leader. Lack of perceived authenticity often isnt. I chose to be honest about what I knew a nd didnt know. I found that it made people follow me more and help me be a successful leader.- James Sudakow, consulting, San Diego, CADont expect a fairytale ending.I once opened up to my mom about the anxiety I was feeling about my fiance, and she told me that in reality, you find someone youre moderately compatible with and make a life together no fireworks or soul mating required. There was such cognitive dissonance between what I heard and what I believed that I ultimately eschewed her advice. I called off the nuptials, spent some time soul searching (and lamenting) before I met the man that made me feel the way I hadnt before certain that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this person. That was ten years ago and that man loves me, my daughter and the two daughters we had next today more than ever. Sometimes mother doesnt know best. You do.- Ashley Carroll, health marketing and communications, Omaha, NEBe a man.My father used to tell me Be a man. Stop crying. Years l ater, I learned that manliness is not the lack of emotion it is the lack of despair. Now, I would tell my younger self that boys become men not when they stop feeling, but when they embrace what they feel and stop allowing it to overwhelm their spirit.- Simon Tang, business student, SingaporePursue a sensible career.Im a naturally creative type at heart, but because I had good grades in science, I was told by many people that I should pursue a career in science engineering because thats where the money and job security was. I spent almost fifteen years as a consulting engineer but I was miserable and my health declined. When I finally decided to quit my career as an engineer and follow my passion, my health improved. If I had my time again I would tell my younger self Tune in, find your own personal truth and follow that and success and happiness will follow.- Kate De Jong, global career coach, Perth, AustraliaIf you love what you do, youll never work a day in your life.This ad vice turned out to be wrong. In fact, its more like this If you love what you do, youll kinda work all the time. Im not saying work is bad, but if you keep chasing a work life that is nothing but fun and easy all the time, youre going to miss out on some amazing opportunities and lessons. Work can be tough, weird, difficult, complicated, beautiful, fun, easy all at the same time If you take every little bump in the road as a sign youre going in the wrong direction, youll never get very far.- Trine Ravnkilde Frederiksen, online community expert, DenmarkYour grades will dictate your success.My mom gave me this advice when I was in school, so I learned as much as I could, memorized all the facts, and tried my hardest to get straight As. My mom failed to mention that to be successful in life, you dont need only knowledge, but also necessary life skills.- Patricia Bloj, corporate wellbeing, London, UKYou never get a second chance to make a first impression.My first boss told me this ad vice, and over time, I learned it was wrong, and it can become a burden. Trying to create a good first impression hinders people from being authentic, experimenting and taking risks we are so worried about creating a wrong impression that we all play safe. Job interviews are a perfect example most candidates act like robots. They are anything but authentic. My version of the advice is You always get a first chance to make a second impression. Take risks. Its better to be liked for who you are than to be appreciated for who you pretend to be.- Gustavo Razzetti, change leadership consultant, Chicago, ILThis article was originally published on ThriveGlobal.com.